When I started this post, all I had was "Just Sitting." I left the post with the title. Don't even remember what this post was supposed to be about. But I've taken up the advice of Michelle and Troy about stopping in the middle of a sentence or project to come back to it later. Here I am, just sitting, as the title says, pondering the semester coming, pondering the interview on Wednesday, pondering medicaid, pondering Ginet's "friend" who I have found to be wonderful--I hope he is everything that he appears to be so far, pondering Garry's mood that has been seriously bitter and rude, pondering why I haven't been able to read any of the books I want to or why I can't get into my book. Maybe this will loosen up my mind and allow for otherness.
Have any of you watched "Monsters vs Aliens"? I and Ginet had a good laugh last night. The ending is great! We kept saying we need to send it to Derek! The whole ending to the story relates to Derek in every possible way. And the character's name, which is supposed to marry the character Susan, is named Derek. Ginet's new friend was with us, and he got a kick out of us laughing our asses off at the end of the movie. Yeah, he knows about the ex.
Now, pondering again while I sit here, just sit here letting my fingers let out anything that they want, such as clpgen;acnen vopaeh vepohadl, jepohte: did any one get that? Ha ha, felt good. Nonsense has its worthiness sometimes. So does randomness. The Kingdom of Randomness can be the greatest kingdom of all; wouldn't you agree?
Wonder why adult children won't clean? So do I. Wondering when adult children decide that cleanliness is actually next to Godliness? Poor cliche to use. How about, when does adulthood lose slobbingness? Don't attempt to answer any of those questions; you're brain will stop functioning in one minute. Promise, I know this to be true.
Okay okay. Can I get more random than I already am? I am random. Randomness is me. I am the woods and I am the pastor. I am the tree and I am the granite. I am the stillness and I am the aggravation. I am all and I am none. I am random when life is the most stressful, my mind fused and chipped into phrases that fall like fall leaves: my selfhood attempting to survive with multi-personalities finding themselves on my tongue; telling myself to shut up when one decides to speak, and usually when it isn't the time or place: I can't have someone hear my inner-beings struggling. I am an ocean roaring inside the I am the river flowing outside; I am who I do not appear to be; I am exactly as I appear to be; I am as I am as you are and are not: I am every letter in every alphabet without escape to speak. I am just sitting as I am: don't answer who I am.
That last paragraph of your posting is very powerful in the free associations your mind is making.
ReplyDeleteI would use some of these as seeds for poems, if I were you. Often, I get ideas for poems doing that kind of pre-writing.
Go with, Dawn.