doing nothing is creative

yeah, i just thought of it while i sat down to right. i'm lazy tonight. no capitals will be used, and if possible i will not hit the shift key to make any special characters. i'm going to stay lazy. wasn't sure what i was going to write here. i only knew that i had to write, either here or in my journal, or work on my book that i've decided to entitle 'silence satisfies requirements.' well, as you can see, i am here, but that doesn't mean i won't be elsewhere after here.

any who, i'm supposed to be ranting about all those things that has to be done to fulfill requirements to keep my husband on medicaid. Here is one, and it is huge:
     a person is given ten days from the date of the letter to retrieve and send in all required information.
     sometimes the letter doesn't come until two days before the end of the date stamped on the letter.
     then there is the travel time to collect that information when a person is already living on nothing,
          besides the time taken (usually) away from work to get the required information because it can
          only be obtained during business hours.
     if it isn't all the above, there is the cost to send either by mail (which doesn't mean it will get to the
          government on time) or by faxing: although a person can go to an office in the city to have it
          fax, but often the people in the office forget or mix up the paperwork, thus the information isn't
          obtained by the main office in marion on time.
today, to send out all the required information needed, it cost me 28 dollars (to make sure the information was in marion today, the ten days after stamped on the letter. 28 dollars i could have spent for food or cleaning products needed in my home.

now, do you call this efficiency for those in need?

well, i will close with this: the one extravagant gift bought last year is going to be played, Wii (eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee).

Zachary Reinhoehl

I titled this blog with a name. Let me describe this young man who has walked into my daughter's life. the first words that comes to mind is "sweet." Next is "knowledge." Then comes "knowing himself," as much as any person could know him- / her- self. Sadly, I have to say, Ginet may not be ready for such a "man," seriously. She is so unsure of herself at this point, and her knowledge of the new developments dealing with her disability, plus still working through the issues of the ex, along with an interest in another young man (who is currently serving) in the U.S. has her confused. Mom can only sit and watch. Ginet has talked to me some: "I like him, and I like Tom, but I haven't met Tom. I want to meet Tom, and . . . . I said friends right now, but . . ." Why do I share this? This young man doesn't come off as fake. He doesn't avoid eye contact. He answers questions without veering from the question. However, he may be a good con; however, there appears to be something very genuine about Zach. If he is the best thing to come along for Ginet, I hope God allows him to have the stamina to stick out the ride.

Just Sitting: Don't answer those questions: I am

When I started this post, all I had was "Just Sitting." I left the post with the title. Don't even remember what this post was supposed to be about. But I've taken up the advice of Michelle and Troy about stopping in the middle of a sentence or project to come back to it later. Here I am, just sitting, as the title says, pondering the semester coming, pondering the interview on Wednesday, pondering medicaid, pondering Ginet's "friend" who I have found to be wonderful--I hope he is everything that he appears to be so far, pondering Garry's mood that has been seriously bitter and rude, pondering why I haven't been able to read any of the books I want to or why I can't get into my book. Maybe this will loosen up my mind and allow for otherness.

Have any of you watched "Monsters vs Aliens"? I and Ginet had a good laugh last night. The ending is great! We kept saying we need to send it to Derek! The whole ending to the story relates to Derek in every possible way. And the character's name, which is supposed to marry the character Susan, is named Derek. Ginet's new friend was with us, and he got a kick out of us laughing our asses off at the end of the movie. Yeah, he knows about the ex.

Now, pondering again while I sit here, just sit here letting my fingers let out anything that they want, such as clpgen;acnen vopaeh vepohadl, jepohte: did any one get that? Ha ha, felt good. Nonsense has its worthiness sometimes. So does randomness. The Kingdom of Randomness can be the greatest kingdom of all; wouldn't you agree?

Wonder why adult children won't clean? So do I. Wondering when adult children decide that cleanliness is actually next to Godliness? Poor cliche to use. How about, when does adulthood lose slobbingness? Don't attempt to answer any of those questions; you're brain will stop functioning in one minute. Promise, I know this to be true.

Okay okay. Can I get more random than I already am? I am random. Randomness is me. I am the woods and I am the pastor. I am the tree and I am the granite. I am the stillness and I am the aggravation.  I am all and I am none. I am random when life is the most stressful, my mind fused and chipped into phrases that fall like fall leaves: my selfhood attempting to survive with multi-personalities finding themselves on my tongue; telling myself to shut up when one decides to speak, and usually when it isn't the time or place: I can't have someone hear my inner-beings struggling. I am an ocean roaring inside the I am the river flowing outside; I am who I do not appear to be; I am exactly as I appear to be; I am as I am as you are and are not: I am every letter in every alphabet without escape to speak. I am just sitting as I am: don't answer who I am.

Letting Go Is So Hard

Ginet went to a party with a few friends; not a sleep over with girls, a party with guys and girls, older guys and girls, ya know, the party where . . . .

I don't remember when I started this blog, but all went fine. Her friends are protective: those who know about her disability.  At least, so far, they have been good friends. I don't think she realizes how lucky she is sometimes.

To the Young Man Full of Random Act of Kindness

I noticed the words "random act of kindness" on "Life As I See It" blog, and thought about the young man that befriended my daughter as she dated Derek. He has talked to no matter what happened or what she said; has said things to her that needed to be heard and she took them; has become a long life friend I am sure for my daughter. Now, I call that random act of kindness, especially when he has indicated how much he cares for her, and how much more he would like to have. His discussions, after she made it clear that friendship was all there would ever be, have been about being friends, about life in general, about each looking out for the "other" and what they want in life. This young man has not made a scene or pushed her into making a choice, hasn't pushed her away when he found out about some issues--my everyday readers will know what I am talking about. He is tremendously aware that he will gain nothing, while I'm sure he wishes. How do I know this? He is dating, and we do talk. I have thanked him over and over again. This wonderful kind young man does have a name: Cody Sprauge. If you see him, if you come across him, tell him his random act of kindness means much.