Movies I would normally not watch

I'm not a fan of more to true / real life movies filled with violence, killing, blood, and all the ugliness that comes with violence. Of course I have those few I don't mind watching: all Lethal Weapon movies is just one group I can think of. A recent movie came to me this weekend. I watched to just watch it: Boondock Saints. Is there something wrong with me?

Another type of movie I don't seriously care for are horror movies. One exception (I think it is horror, sci-fi horror), Predator movies (not AVP, just Predator movies), especially the one with Glover in it.

I do see a pattern here: Danny Glover. However, I can't say it isn't Danny Glover. I like him as an actor, yes, but . . . I just fell for Boondock Saints II (awaiting to see Boondock Saints I).

I know, I know, you are all saying I am a sci-fi nut; well, not the horror side of sci-fi. Will not, refuse to watch Alien! Any of those movies. I think, maybe, it is the humor in the movies, taking the tension out of what is happening. I really don't know.

Okay, I must admit, much of sci-fi has violence in it, i.e., Star Wars, Star Trek, blah blah blah. However, there is a difference in the for aforementioned movies to the movies just mentioned: the reality. But you know say, how can sci-fi horror bother me when it isn't reality? Hmmm, because I know almost all the characters are going to be killed by the end of them movie, and the whole movie is going to be about blood and guts everywhere!!

Well, there it is in a nutshell. It doesn't matter if it you can't make sense of it, I had to write it.

Hope to see you all at the movies.

Attempting to keep my writing habit whole

I go through these damn stages where I don't want to write a damn thing. When I do this, I feel bored, so bored, that I do the unthinkable: eat. Then, when I want to write, something always gets in my way. I can never have a happy medium. Okay, I didn't get to pick up my novel this morning to revise as I wanted. Tomorrow seems as if my time will be spent dealing with medicaid, again! Not for husband this time, for daughter. It is a never ending battle! My daughter is supposed to be on medicaid disability. For some odd reason they had her on something else I guess, and now are canceling her services. Well, here is to a week worth of phone calls that will begin tomorrow, a week worth of being jumped from place to place and being put on hold.

Argh! Okay. Back to the title. Well, just to write about anything is better than nothing; and as I stated in the post prier to this one, limited funds in replenishing my other artful activity: painting--haven't had the chance to get the chalk out yet, too much damn rain! I mess with the chalk outdoors. Don't bring it indoors if at all possible. Still can't find my wood. Can't make my hats right now because my last needle broke (the needle that helps hide all the straggling yarn to be tied off).

Hmmm, I did get The Required Silence of Women sent out to two places (or was it three?). I did so much research and inquiries, I can't remember if I managed a third place. Also, The Beasthood was sent to two places. Really want to have my novel revised by the end of the summer. I know it will be hard to look for publishers while teaching, but I'll do it somehow. Of course I'm looking right now as well; however, I know it will be a very long process.

Man, the material I am gathering for the paper I want to write! I'm trying to determine exactly what the focus will be! I pulled out two of my old papers from two different classes to combine them. They won't exactly be combined, they'll be revamped into one, pulling certain information out, to create a new paper. While doing this research, I noticed that my writing has a flavor for attempting the oral tradition, and find my novel lacking lust. Now I'm questioning who the novel should be geared towards: the reader who is use to the traditional novel, or the reader who is seeking a bit of a challenge? I'm leaning towards the latter.

I guess I've ranted enough today. I guess I did my writing. One days worth of habit done.

Is there something to post?

Actually, I have not much to give. Boredom strikes me too often. I find myself fighting to be motivated. Those things I want to do I cannot: limited paints, can't find the wood I saved to be creative (think the wood was thrown out when several people was specifically told "do not touch"), the weather interferes with plans, I don't have cable to see the World Cup, car is in need of three hundred dollar repair (so not much traveling done). I attempt to fill the boredom with exercise, walking (which I cannot stand--prefer a bike), writing more gibberish than I normally do, but always scheduling specific times to look for a job, write / revise / edit my words, research Conrad, Harjo, and Cliffton--oral traditions found in their work, and read whatever I want. I don't mind having time on my hand, but I hate not having money, which would enable in filling that time. As for the walk, because I know someone will mention walk to a destination, living where I do makes it difficult to get anywhere--a walk up and down my road is the only safe destination, walking Goshen IS NOT an option (although I see many doing it; drivers don't pay attention well enough, using the gravel berm for a passing lane).

I sit in boredom writing this now, listening to the television in the background, seeing clouds float by out my front door, wondering if I read some more on my research--will I soak it up, or should I sweep the floor to lay out the mats to exercise, take that walk up and down the road, or decide I don't need to be busy today? I wish our pool was up. The pump went out for the . . . whatever it is called that keeps the pool clean.

It has been thunderstorms outside while tornadoes inside.

Let me clarify the title.  First, the roof needs to be "replaced"; second, after the roof is replace, ceiling needs to be fixed; third, the refrigerator is about out; fifth, the carpet has been ripped up and the hardwood floor needs to be sanded, plus waxed; fifth, no money for any of it because I am not working. Who said the economy is turning around?

No jobs to find, unless you are a person with limited skills and education. Employers do not want a person with any of it because then the company must pay for those items. If I "don't tell" on my resume, I have lied, then can be fired; if I "do tell" on my resume, the company sets me aside. I'm seriously thinking about taking a course in medical terminology, or something like that, because those seem to be the most prominent jobs currently. Yes, I am applying for positions with colleges. However, I need cash flow now.

On another alphabetic note, I'm trying to work through my . . . non-passion. While I have told my oldest about how I feel towards her father, I know what I have to do and cannot bring myself to talk to him. I think I am hoping for something to change because I am fearful to lose the known, and, also, because I have nowhere to go if he takes nastily to my words. A part of me wants back what there was, while I know much counseling is needed, counseling he won't attend. Not only counseling, but his willingness to do all in his power to "care" for himself, to want to "get out" and be active the best he can, to not sit in his "cave" with the TV going 24 hours, to have friends--he has no friends! Why did I ignore his words many years ago when he said he would like to be a hermit living in the mountains. He might not have the mountains, but he has become the hermit he wished for. I refuse to ask him to go beyond taking pills for his medical problems, I refuse to mention counseling due to his responses from previous problems in our marriages (which I took counseling for alone), I refuse to become angry with him when he smokes (hampering his emphysema more, and possibly becoming cancerous)--he would laugh at me, make jokes about my anger--and I refuse to have that pain he feeds on to make himself feel "wanted." Since he has enclosed himself, since he has taken the downturn years ago, the words "who are you seeing; who is your boyfriend" has left his lips all too often, and yet, he does nothing to change such a possibility. I do not like this difficult situation: while I am thinking about myself, I am handling the situation delicately, as to not overly upset any of my children. I only wish I had another to talk to that has been here, and how she (even a he) has handled it. My mind keeps playing on "31 years of marriage" and the dream of "until death do we part." Correct me if I am wrong, but we have already parted, haven't we? Isn't death of emotion and being "in" love as much as physical death? I do need to go away for awhile to think this through thoroughly. I feel fake living in my own home.

Lightning Strike

Ginet and I woke up just before the storm began, hurrying about to get the dogs out before the poured. As Ginet stepped outside, the rain began, not too hard, but big drops. She knew she couldn't leave Phoenix out, and I was preparing to take Champ out, who also needed to be walked. I stood at the door watching briefly because I couldn't find the other leash, knowing that we would have to quickly switch out dogs. No thunder was near, only rumbling in the way distance. As Phoenix relieved himself, a bolt of lightning came down about six yards from Ginet and Phoenix. There was no time to react; all I could do was stand and watch. Ginet screamed, nothing came out of my mouth, Phoenix bucked. After realizing that neither was hurt, and they realizing they were still standing, both came running into the house. Ginet was having a panic attack. The flash was blinding! Ginet said there was a bird right next the the strike, but wasn't hit. Only half the house lost power: how strange.

Later that day, we went out to search for the strike area. A small tree was struck at the base. With the tall pine and oak in our front yard, how did it hit there, or how did it miss the transformer about 10 yards away? I never want to be that close to a lightning strike again!