Realization

After some thoughtful conversation in my journal, I have realized that my husband has given up on making himself better, or at least enjoyable. All the information he has been given to keep his body active and in less pain (while those things often cause pain until a few sessions have been done), has been rejected by him. He is even back to smoking again: he has emphazima. I can not longer rant and rave only about medicaid issues. However, Plan D through Medicare (I believe) won't pay for one of the medications the doctor is trying out on him now. The medication it is replacing is for . . . I forgot, but anyhow, the medication he was on slowly stopped working, the reason for the change. The medication, out-of-pocket, will cost $23 a month. That isn't bad, but when the dosage goes up, the cost goes up. I don't know how we'll budget it.

Now, I no longer tell him the information I find that can help him, I let him fill his days with medication. I no longer get angry with him when he smokes, he doesn't care. I can no longer ask him to try because he has ignored me. I wonder how long it will take before he realizes I don't care anymore.