My Papers Are Done

I turned in my last paper tonight. However, I'm still not completely free. I have students' papers to read. Last night, after finishing my post colonial paper, I decided today would be movie and family day, stay at home and be lazy day. For the most part it was. Some dishes, a run to the grocery store, and the run to the school to turn in the last paper. Yaaaaaahooooooooooo! A May 2009 Graduate Student! I do admit, I don't know what I'll do with myself if I'm not studying for a reason. Although, I know I will be writing. I'm definitely sending out work this summer—no slacking. Publishing is the goal.

Now, to write about what this blog was made for—taking care of a disabled husband. While what I'm going to speak about isn't directly about my husband's disability, it is about dealing with the situation, and another type of disability I've witnessed within my own church community. I've began a gathering for women who take care of a disabled member of the family. Originally, the plan was for women with disabled husbands. Since few (as in two, one of them my own daughter) came for the first two meetings, I broadened the field to family members. Sadly, the gathering has only stayed to two to three women (not including me); plus, the place where the gatherings are to be held has never been available to me—the trustee has never unlocked the room. Once, to even have entrance into the Lutheran school, I had to check with the church office, hoping someone was there to let me into the school, where the small gathering used the commons, as we have been doing. I know there are women within the congregation that have disabled husbands, disabled children, and other disabled family members (both physical and mental). I've personally invited one woman from the congregation. I don't understand what is to be feared about discussing the daily activities, fears, issues, agitations, frustrations of everyday life with a disabled family member. I've arranged the gatherings to be creative, to be expressive through the art that a woman enjoys mostly, the art that makes her feel comfortable, welcoming, and herself.

I'm saddened that the women in my church community do not see this as an opportunity to explore the well being of the self. I wander, how do they deal with it, who do they speak to? I needed someone else to speak to, to explore my emotions of life when dealing with my husband; hell, I needed it when I was raising my two mentally disabled children! What is the fear? Are they afraid to find the self?

I'm with finding another place to bring the gathering together. I will be reaching out to more than my church community. A letter will be going out to another member's church family in a couple of weeks. I'm hoping it only takes me one week to find another place to hold the gatherings.

Please, if anyone reads this that lives in Fort Wayne, please post a request to find out where the meetings are if you are interested in coming to a gathering. The group releases its feelings through any art form, and then discusses what we have done—asking of ourselves, and of others, and sharing what we think. We never judge! We are not gathering to judge each other, we are gathering to get in touch with ourselves, to help ourselves through the issues that face us as we live life with a disabled family member. Come, All Is Ready.