Do the Tremor

    Last week, while I was in class, my husband had a serious muscle attack. All the children were at the house, thank God! I realize why I was getting so many texts half way through class (the class I'm writing this for). It scared the children to see their father disabled by uncontrollable quaking muscles, making him incapable of moving in any form, stuck where he was, standing, leaning against the bed, holding William (our grandson). I felt helpless, I felt insecure, I felt responsible. He has not had a serious attack like this before, not as my son described it to me. Vincent saw his skin moving. He described it as a bubbling, as if his father's skin was boiling. And while this motion was happening, he watched his father's curl in and out, cramp and let go. Garry described his toes doing the same thing. Vincent said, if he hadn't gone to the kitchen to something to drink, he wouldn't have known what was happening, and Will would have been dropped to the floor. Vincent attempted to help Garry to the bed, but the pain was so great that Garry wouldn't allow him to touch. What will happen the next time when no one is in the house? And as I've voiced before, how does this affect all his organs, especially the heart, which is a muscle. Are the lungs a muscle too?

    After Vincent witnessing such a tremor, he decided that Garry would no longer watch any child, and could not hold a child without another in the room with him. He made it perfectly clear to everyone, even me. I smile as I say "even me." I still hear his words: "No one mom, and I mean no one, will leave their baby with dad." Of course Garry is bucking at it, thinking he was still in control, insisting that he wasn't about to drop Will, and would never drop Will. Garry denies much. I think all of us have been denying plenty. I have to make sure, with his next appointment, that I ask specific questions about when and how the heart will be effected by the medical condition he has, the medical condition that the doctors cannot put a single name to.

    Just yesterday, he was down for about fifteen minutes with mild tremors. He told me last night, that ever since he had the big attack, he has had several smaller attacks. Sounds like after shocks. It isn't funny, but it sounds quirky. I'm wondering if someone doesn't need to be home with him all the time, now. I was scared to leave him alone before, now I'm really scared. What if he would fall over during one of these attacks and seriously hurt himself? Hit is head, fall onto something that would cut him deeply?

    With the mentioning of him cutting himself from I fall, I realize that he is unable to feel much of anything immediately after injury. He's been getting these cuts on his legs that he doesn't know are there until he feels a burning sensation, or sees the blood. He went two days without knowing he cut the back of his leg, pretty deep. I'm asking myself, as you are asking me, "How did I not see it?"